Imma brag on my buddy again. God bless her for this:

Refinery29: What’s next for you ladies? [after releasing album]

Cat Popper Queen of my Heart: I bought a metal detector. I’m going to try to find Civil War relics. I’m just coming out [as a metal-detecting enthusiast], so it’s a little bit awkward.

So. Pretty deep into Satanist Pintrest right now.

clarawebbwillcutoffyourhead:

The clinic desk where I used to work. We didn’t care for the original (kids need BOTH parents)



Possible overlooked anagrams-

Kids need:

Barhop Tents

Hot Barn Pets

Bars Then Pot

The Pant Bros

etc.

clarawebbwillcutoffyourhead:

The clinic desk where I used to work. We didn’t care for the original (kids need BOTH parents)

Possible overlooked anagrams- Kids need: Barhop Tents Hot Barn Pets Bars Then Pot The Pant Bros etc.
(Reblogged from clarawebbwillcutoffyourhead)
(Reblogged from charmcore)

sexting

We summer in Jorkville.

myriadplethorae said: I'm currently nursing my infant back to sleep in the middle of the night and she's a squirming bundle of babbling joy. How can I convince her to sleep, or, failing that, how can I summon enough wakefulness to enjoy hers?

charmcore:

Witch the Third: Sister, I have many charms for sleep and wakefulness, for mothers and sweet infants but before you incant any of them—are you certain you give suck to a human babe? If you enchant any other creature with a baby-spell, the veil between here and Alam Gahib may be rent and untold chaos unleashed. 

I do not ask to offend. The most sightless among the Sightless can generally tell her child from even a skilfully disguised changeling and furthermore, fairies, trolls, goblins,and elves have, after the Accord of Chetro Ketl, ceased the practice of changing human babes for their own. The pixies and dwarves were not signatories but then that was never their way.

I simply… I have birthed and raised many children.  Several lovely longboats, the Teumessian fox, the expansive sands of the Rub al-Khali, the… no, no, I slip into boastfulness.  Forgive me. This is all to say, five solar years ago, I became mother to my first human child. Though I believe she has now lost the power of shapeshifting as she gained that of speech, in the deep nights of her first year she transformed into an intent vampire, eager to suck life from my breast as I became ever weaker, paler, lost my own speech. But into a bundle of babbling joy? At night? No.

If you are certain this is a human child, however, the linked lullaby, here voiced by male witch Pete Seeger, has soothed children in my line for many generations on both sides of the Cold Ocean and in its crossing. It is also just lively enough to be fun to sing. If you begin singing it and you notice any rumbling in the earth or vines tangling about your ankles, you suckle a selkie, stop immediately and summon us.  

Witch the First: Remember in moments of weariness that human babes only just resided in Unborn.  Unborn, the inexact name I give this netherworld, though many others would suit equally (Lost As Though It Had Never Been, for example, or Discarded Revelations), resembles in nearly no way the realm sleep.  Sleep is a new netherworld to this babe, entirely new.  Netherworld switching is not easy, no matter what the Deathless Crone would tell you.

I could suggest many and various tinctures and/or elixirs.  The earth abounds with herbs and weeds which will loose the hold of wakefulness on the mind of your babe and send it hurtling into rest.  However as we all know, just because something is natural does not mean it is good.  Consider the odor of a bag of “”“Bugles”“” newly unsealed.  Again, Sightless, I would ask that should you seek an audience with me, you not wear these as “witch fingers,” for they both offend all my sistren mightily and are gross.  There are other, more cosmically interesting ways to combine the oil of the drupe of the Cocos nucifera and the infinite beauty and mystery of the waving field of corn that do not result in Bugles.  The noise of a bugle horn is poison to my ears, but that is for another day.

Now also hear this: I passed some days on this cruel, giving earth as a human child (out of interest).  And I will tell you that at times the only thing that soothed me as I screamed for the comforts of the Unborn netherworld was a tape recording of a vacuum cleaner.  Truly one of the Mysteries.

As for your own delight, I have tinctures for that: might I recommend the passionflower (ten to fifteen droplets in a goblet of water).  Might I also recommend the haze of a half-doze, and the knowledge that not all bright moments may be fully enjoyed in the grip of the tyrannical “present” that throttles all mortals.  Make it thirty drops if you want to get kind of tips.

Witch the Second: I recently visited my (Sightless, though still infinitely wise) human mother — in corporeal, not just spirit form, such is my devotion! We participated in a human diversion: “going on a drive” through the lush Olympic Peninsula — which, my banana slug, is a tremendously powerful witch haunt, and beautiful to even Sightless eyes, the old mossy trees so densely green the air glows with the color.

But I digress, much like my human mother! The golden apple doesn’t fall far from the golden apple tree!

During this “drive,” I found myself — asleep! Imagine my surprise! I hadn’t nodded off for well over three human centuries (I am of course older than my human mother, #awkwardwitchproblems), but the soft whirr of the car, the dappled light, the gentle rocking movement, and a human I love at the wheel — I could not keep my eyelids propped open. So to you I recommend the human petroleum carriage. Or, idk, do they make baby xanax? I popped a few for the treacherous flight west and must say, though I sagged on my broomstick hither and thither, though I dipped too close to a flock of rocs, it was the chillest ride e v e r.

how do these weirdos know so much about babies

(Reblogged from charmcore)

@sarahswiftjwlry was giving out spirit animals I’ll take it. ◻️🐯➕🐥🐊🐀

This was an Alain de Botton book someone gave me so this was actually the best possible use it could have been put to.